Writer's Block

Okay, so now I am using this as an excuse to continue to write, though I know not what about, simply I am having difficulty writing an essay. I seem to have the greatest difficulty writing something which is required of me. I do not know if this makes sense, but I will continue to explain, just to keep my mind in the writing aura. Analysis is such a difficult thing for me to do on call, partly because I see so many a thing simultaneously, that it is in my leisure I work out the details and begin to form a solid picture, but as of the moment I am stumped. I am blocked. It is due primarily to the fact that forced writing is as a rule always bad.

Back in the day, when I had to write a paper on something, anything really... I would do it at night, when the muses come out, it always seems they like the dark best, drink a couple of glasses of wine and put on my Romantic Adagios CD (which is brilliant by the way Beethoven, Khachaturian, Mozart, Faure, Mahler, Barber, Satie, among autres) . Keeping in mind that it is the middle of the afternoon that strikes out condition one, and again keeping in mind it is in the middle of the afternoon that strikes out condition two, so I am left with condition three, and believe you me that the musica is a playing.

My difficulty may be rooted in the manner in which I write. Completely ad lib, literally as you please. I am not good at structuring things, I despise it actually, I enjoy the spontaneity of it, the free flow stream of consciousness aspect of just sitting down and writing. It works in history, I have made only one B in writing anything on history, but this is not the careful recitation of facts and events tied together with some common aim. No, no. Writing for English, in English, is something more delicate, more careful.

In "Finding Forrester" don't think just write, it will come to you says the Sean Connery character (JD Salinger based), but he didn't write a paper for this guy.... So, I just sit and I write as I always do, though I started afresh a couple of times, that in itself may help to structure my mind, but still it is difficult. Perhaps it is because of the disconnect between the self and the written work. This issue with this hypothesis is that I connect with the work, well relatively.

So I continue to trudge along.