Pompous Bastard

I hate to post too many blogs in a row, entries or whatever. Just seems like I do nothing but write these bloody things. Irony of that is, I have not done anything. I had to write a paper...and for some reason I was able to draw Heidegger and Lacan into it, so it expanded rapidly. However, it had to be only one page and unfortunately I can't pull a derrida and write in erasure, so there was quite the trimming.

To the source of the title of this entry. I often wonder how I come off to people. Not that I really care, I just find the whole thing interesting. I do little social experiments all the time, just to see what will happen, to glean some deeper understanding about people, because they are rather interesting. Well, not all of them.

I like to have my things. I forgot my camera. It is driving me crazy. It is an old 1978 cannon slr with several lens which i just love. the funny thing is, i take pictures but i don't develop them. maybe i need to do something about that, but hey what's the hurry. I wake up early and take walks around. I love to watch the sunrise, so I am always up for it. It is my time to think, reflect, and the lighting is always so wonderful--if you can catch it. i have only been using black and white film of late. i like the graininess that you can get. i took some pictures without a light sensor and it produced some fun results...so much more organic, the nature of the absense of the photo.

I also did not bring up my stereo. Now that is killing me. I have a decent stereo i got from a friend of a friend for a favour kind of deal and I love it. I plug in my turntable, throw on a vinyl and drop that needle and it is pure joy, whatever the mood. Yes I listen to vinyls. You can't beat them, they have such a warm quality, and the philosophical aspect of having an analogue recording that represents the "photo" of the sound is just too good to pass up. I also have this thing where i see colors with sound...so it adds another layer to the party.

See the funny thing is, if you tel that to people...I listen to old jazz vinyls, i have a virtually antique camera, that i wake to watch the sunrise each morn--they look at you like you are full of (sh)it. I may be on many other things, but I don't have to generate a persona, a character for everyone. The funny thing about higher education is that it is supposed to embrace this sort of individuality, but whatever, it may not. Case and point, the ire directed at a fella who did not wear orange to the bloody football game...talk about the mass, the directed gaze, the danger of such things, ick.

My obsession cannot be sated for journals. I collect them, actually i write in them, preferably moleskine, they came out with soft cover pocket size journals that are wonderful too because you can actually put them in your pocket without breaking your back. Due to my latest picasso binge, my journal is filled with picasso and picasso inspired drawings/sketchs/pastels, so i am looking to purchase another. apparently muji has this one with a circle in the center of each page representing time, so it is a planner that allows for space. unfortunately, they don't believe in direct online sales from japan, and you can only get them at the MoMA and from some brit company who charges nearly four pounds for the thing. that cannot do.

but anyways, it does make me wonder, all of this, perception is reality but then what is real? how does perception change you? in theory none at all, but if we are so impressed by the other, who do we become? interesting thought though, our projection is dictated by the other, but at the same time our same projection is interpreted and reprojected on us. I know this isn't the most lucid musing, but think about it.